"let's go home"

home (hm)

n.

1. A place where one lives; a residence.

2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.

4.

a. An environment offering security and happiness.

b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

5. The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.

6. The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.

7. The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.

8. A headquarters; a home base.

9.

a. Baseball Home plate.

b. Games Home base.

10. An institution where people are cared for: a home for the elderly.

11. Computer Science

a. The starting position of the cursor on a text-based computer display, usually in the upper left corner of the screen.

b. A starting position within a computer application, such as the beginning of a line, file, or screen or the top of a chart or list.

it's interesting how the definition of "home" can change so much. it's so relative. my home is in charleston, south carolina, but i live at duke. here in madrid, my home is my señora's house. when i'm traveling, my home can be a hotel room or a hostel. home also means people too. last weekend, i visited london, and i was able to see emily lin, and in a way, seeing her was being at home. :) so many homes... hmm...

i think my ultimate home is under God's wing. (especially with definitions 4 & 7.) ;)

that black boulder

i had a pretty rough week: a presentation about the Stroop Test and the Columbia Mental Maturity Scale, a paper about diagnosing Asperger's Syndrome and Autism, and an exam on more spanish grammar. x_x

due to the stress and lack of sleep from this week, i have acquired about four new pimples on my face. today, a friend and i were talking about breaking out, and she pointed out a pimple on her face that was bothering her. i hadn't even noticed until she pointed it out. then, for the rest of the day, i knew it was there, but it didn't bother me, and i soon forgot about it.

hmm. when i get pimples, i get so obsessed with them and become so self-conscious and sometimes it affects my behavior and interaction with others. it ends up being though, that no one notices or if they do, they don't care.

i think this is how God and i might be. vamos a ver:
i see my pimple, and it's gross. whenever i look in the mirror, the pimple is all that i see and all that defines me for that moment.

i see [my sin], and it's gross. whenever i look in the mirror, [my sin] is all that i see and all that defines me for that moment.

pimple = sin... hahahaha.

however, God sees the bigger picture; He realizes that the pimple is actually only a tiny portion of the face. He doesn't care if i have one, He still smiles at me.

lately i've been only been seeing my sin in front of me. i want to step back and see the greater picture and see how God's grace is so much greater than anything i've ever done.

usa: cheese! spain: whiskey!

i never was much of a camera person. i didn't like carrying it around because i was always too lazy to take pictures. however, since i've been in madrid, i've posted 10 albums so far on facebook. o_0 wowsers.

i'm pretty picky with my pictures. if it's blurry (unintentionally) or if the composition, angle, or the lighting doesn't seem right to me, i'll delete it. it usually takes several tries to get a good picture. out of all the pictures i take, i delete about half of them~~ it's good because with bad pictures, i can distinguish which are good pictures.

this is something i forget all the time. i need mess ups. drafts. the bad. they lead to the good! it's a process. i forget this when i'm drawing or writing music. i expect the best at the snap of a finger, and it doesn't happen. then, i get frustrated and give up. tsk tsk tsk.

same goes for my walk with God. one of the biggest challenges in my relationship with God is that it is a process. i like to-do lists. i like crossing things off to-do lists. unfortunately for me, God and me don't work this way. i can't cross off patience or love. these are things i need to work on all the time. and things i think i've crossed off already come back and bite me in the butt. for example, who knew accepting God's love could be so hard?

the simple and the most fundamental things are the hardest to understand and easiest to forget. maybe He planned it this way so that i never take those things for granted, and He can reiterate His love for me.

i'm realizing this post might not make sense. :)