this is what i imagine heaven to be like..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMK8mb6bGx0&feature=related
i like how the song in the video mimics whale calls. i thought that was neat.
i'm looking forward to going back to the marine lab again. this video reminded me why i was taking the marine mammals class :) i hope i can do something like that video at some point in my life. There's just so many cool parts of the world. That video was in french polynesia. It reminded me of my roommate last semester from papua new guinea around the same area. the oceans there are still pristine and visibility is so high (you can see the ground in that video! crazy.. lucky if you can see 5 feet ahead of you in the marine lab waters..)
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
~2 weeks later, 6 days late
'ello =)
I'll start my clarifying the second half of the subject title. I'm 6 days late wishing Michelle Kwak an AMAZING HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I don't doubt that you Michelle are getting some beautiful God-taught lessons everyday, but I hope that this past week has proven to be especially lovely. =) When you get the time, please update us on your adventures!
The ~2 weeks later part is not as happy, but still important. It's been almost 2 weeks since I lost my camera with pictures since my spring break on it. I realized that it was missing after I ran to catch a train and panicked at first, but then decided to try something different, aka let God know my worries and not worry. The train suddenly stopped and stayed like that for another 20 min. causing me to be late for class. I started complaining to God saying, "what is going on? 2 bad things in a row? And what's with the lost camera? Is learning to pull the zipper of the front pocket of my backpack all the way down really worth my losing the camera?" It wasn't until later as I walked to the building where my class was held that I realized how blessed and, at the same time, how spoiled I was. The fact that I could complain about a lost camera implied that I wasn't worried about what I was going to eat for lunch (a Doener, yum) or where I was going to sleep. That's a blessing, which I take for granted. Another thing I take for granted is that I don't have back-to-back problems like losing things and getting stuck on public transportation all the time. For some reason I expect life to go smoothly and to get perhaps a few small bumps along the way. So I guess this camera-losing business gave me a better lesson that I had thought.
I was supposed to start my Berlin project a while ago, but only recently began working on it. This project is part of my Berlin Lit/Culture class. We're supposed to pick a topic and then research and do interviews with ppl in Berlin. I picked the Social welfare system (didn't realize beforehand how big a topic it'd be). It's hard work trying to read up on this stuff esp. since reading things in a foreign language usually makes me fall asleep. What was even harder for me though was to gather enough courage to talk to random people at the Jobcenter, where people come to register as unemployed and get help looking for jobs. There were a lot of people who didn't want to talk, which I can understand, but it makes asking the next time just a bit harder. After I got back on Thursday from a trip to a few institutions for my project, I asked my host mom what she thought about it. She seemed flustered but gave me a bit of her opinion. Later when I went back into the kitchen, she asked me why in the world did I pick such a hard and complex topic to which she didn't even know how to respond? Why not something easy like the church I attend (during this conversation my host sister's pretty much echoing her mom)? I told her I got the idea after watching one of the plays we had to read. She then started calling me such a child and asking if I could even grasp the topic. I let her know that I intended to keep going, esp. since I was in the middle of it already. She then let me off with the words, "Then keep on torturing yourself." Aiya, why am I such a weak person? I felt so discouraged from this conversation and hurt again. I don't like how sensitive I am to some things. My sister told me to either really get over it or, if I can't, bring it up with my host mom. Since I feel like it's just german culture to be so straight forward and because I'm a wuss and don't want to rock the boat, I didn't really consider option 2. That means I'll have to deal with these sensitivity issues. Sigh, I wish I were a rock sometimes. Or, even better, never lose sight of the fact that my value lies with God.
Today's sermon was on passion and how we might learn what our God-given passion is. The passage used was from the beginning of Nehemiah where he broke and wept after hearing of the condition of Jerusalem, and after that fasted and prayed until that critical conversation with King Artaex...(sthg). The speaker said Nehemiah's reaction was the point when his desires intersected with God's and that's when Nehemiah discovered his passion (to rebuild the city of Jerusalem). One of the indicators brought up as to how we'd realize what our passion is, is to ask ourselves what makes us cry/laugh/angry? There were other points, but this one was what stood out to me. What makes me sad though is that I don't think I know what my passion is. I don't really know what exactly stirs me. I want God to reveal this to me while I'm still here.
I'll start my clarifying the second half of the subject title. I'm 6 days late wishing Michelle Kwak an AMAZING HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I don't doubt that you Michelle are getting some beautiful God-taught lessons everyday, but I hope that this past week has proven to be especially lovely. =) When you get the time, please update us on your adventures!
The ~2 weeks later part is not as happy, but still important. It's been almost 2 weeks since I lost my camera with pictures since my spring break on it. I realized that it was missing after I ran to catch a train and panicked at first, but then decided to try something different, aka let God know my worries and not worry. The train suddenly stopped and stayed like that for another 20 min. causing me to be late for class. I started complaining to God saying, "what is going on? 2 bad things in a row? And what's with the lost camera? Is learning to pull the zipper of the front pocket of my backpack all the way down really worth my losing the camera?" It wasn't until later as I walked to the building where my class was held that I realized how blessed and, at the same time, how spoiled I was. The fact that I could complain about a lost camera implied that I wasn't worried about what I was going to eat for lunch (a Doener, yum) or where I was going to sleep. That's a blessing, which I take for granted. Another thing I take for granted is that I don't have back-to-back problems like losing things and getting stuck on public transportation all the time. For some reason I expect life to go smoothly and to get perhaps a few small bumps along the way. So I guess this camera-losing business gave me a better lesson that I had thought.
I was supposed to start my Berlin project a while ago, but only recently began working on it. This project is part of my Berlin Lit/Culture class. We're supposed to pick a topic and then research and do interviews with ppl in Berlin. I picked the Social welfare system (didn't realize beforehand how big a topic it'd be). It's hard work trying to read up on this stuff esp. since reading things in a foreign language usually makes me fall asleep. What was even harder for me though was to gather enough courage to talk to random people at the Jobcenter, where people come to register as unemployed and get help looking for jobs. There were a lot of people who didn't want to talk, which I can understand, but it makes asking the next time just a bit harder. After I got back on Thursday from a trip to a few institutions for my project, I asked my host mom what she thought about it. She seemed flustered but gave me a bit of her opinion. Later when I went back into the kitchen, she asked me why in the world did I pick such a hard and complex topic to which she didn't even know how to respond? Why not something easy like the church I attend (during this conversation my host sister's pretty much echoing her mom)? I told her I got the idea after watching one of the plays we had to read. She then started calling me such a child and asking if I could even grasp the topic. I let her know that I intended to keep going, esp. since I was in the middle of it already. She then let me off with the words, "Then keep on torturing yourself." Aiya, why am I such a weak person? I felt so discouraged from this conversation and hurt again. I don't like how sensitive I am to some things. My sister told me to either really get over it or, if I can't, bring it up with my host mom. Since I feel like it's just german culture to be so straight forward and because I'm a wuss and don't want to rock the boat, I didn't really consider option 2. That means I'll have to deal with these sensitivity issues. Sigh, I wish I were a rock sometimes. Or, even better, never lose sight of the fact that my value lies with God.
Today's sermon was on passion and how we might learn what our God-given passion is. The passage used was from the beginning of Nehemiah where he broke and wept after hearing of the condition of Jerusalem, and after that fasted and prayed until that critical conversation with King Artaex...(sthg). The speaker said Nehemiah's reaction was the point when his desires intersected with God's and that's when Nehemiah discovered his passion (to rebuild the city of Jerusalem). One of the indicators brought up as to how we'd realize what our passion is, is to ask ourselves what makes us cry/laugh/angry? There were other points, but this one was what stood out to me. What makes me sad though is that I don't think I know what my passion is. I don't really know what exactly stirs me. I want God to reveal this to me while I'm still here.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
marine lab = black hole :D
i can't escape the marine lab!!
so it looks like i'll probably be staying at the marine lab for the 2nd summer session too haha (july 6-aug7). it's true what they say that most people who go to the marine lab will come back. the one class i ever wanted to take at duke was marine mammals (only available in summer session 2). so i was wait listed on this class for a long time, and then i decided to take myself off the waitlist and try to relax for the rest of summer, but the marine lab admin doesnt work w/ aces so i just found out few days ago that i got in the class. now i have to reapply for financial aid (after withdrawing my application.. hope they let me do it) but yeah, it looks like i might be here yet another month.. still havent made my mind up yet 100%...
this session is going great though. i'm not particularly interested in the class i'm taking, but it's not too difficult and i guess we're doing an interesting lab and we occassionally get to relax and enjoy nature as a class. last night we canoed over to carrot island again and walked around the water with underwater lights to look at things and collect samples for various labs. dr. dan taught us how to catch flounder with our bare hands (supercool) and we saw sting rays, crabs, fish, all sorts of things. everything is cool at night. we saw fiddler crabs aggregated in the thousands.. we probably killed 100s of them just by walking but it's impossible not to step on them.
tomorrow night we're going on a night time neuse river hike to look for animals in the brakish water. there are alligators and poisonous snakes there so it should be a fun experience. on saturday we're going to okracoke (sp?) island which is kinda touristy just for fun. i'm gonna miss the people here. i've mostly been hanging out with people that were here in the spring semester. watching movies, playing 4 square, etc..
all my decisions about classes and going into summer sessions have been so last minute. i was almost certain i wouldnt be here first session, and gave up completely to go to 2nd session (though i still got in?) but i guess on this track, i should theoretically be able to take 2 classes of my own choice second semester senior year because i'll have my requirements pretty much done.. all without ever overloading during a semester :) i feel accomplished.
i think taking marine mammals will be a good experience also to test if it's something i would really do in the future. were i to go to grad school, it would probably be somewhere in the field of behavioral ecology & conservation of predatory marine mammals (idealy killer whales) it'd be nice to be exposed to a class like this which i hear from all the professors here is a rare experience. All of this will have to be weighed in with whether or not i want to go into some sort of full-time ministry. good advice i got from joe ho and allison at rockbridge was that i should walk down the paths as if i'm going, and see what God does. They encouraged me that it's still very early. For now I think the game plan is to go through next year ready to apply to be on IV staff, but at the same time taking the GREs and looking for grad schools and exploring options in ministry that aren't IV related. I talked with Dr. Dan recently about the personal statement i had to write and from reading what i wrote he said that i'm not ready for grad school, and i should consider taking a year off to work at a whale research center or something. i feel like if i were at any other previous state of my life, this would've been devestating to hear, but i actually felt relieved when he told me this. it reminded me that i'm still young, and i still have a lot of time to figure things out. there is less pressure to make life decisions on a whim.
so it looks like i'll probably be staying at the marine lab for the 2nd summer session too haha (july 6-aug7). it's true what they say that most people who go to the marine lab will come back. the one class i ever wanted to take at duke was marine mammals (only available in summer session 2). so i was wait listed on this class for a long time, and then i decided to take myself off the waitlist and try to relax for the rest of summer, but the marine lab admin doesnt work w/ aces so i just found out few days ago that i got in the class. now i have to reapply for financial aid (after withdrawing my application.. hope they let me do it) but yeah, it looks like i might be here yet another month.. still havent made my mind up yet 100%...
this session is going great though. i'm not particularly interested in the class i'm taking, but it's not too difficult and i guess we're doing an interesting lab and we occassionally get to relax and enjoy nature as a class. last night we canoed over to carrot island again and walked around the water with underwater lights to look at things and collect samples for various labs. dr. dan taught us how to catch flounder with our bare hands (supercool) and we saw sting rays, crabs, fish, all sorts of things. everything is cool at night. we saw fiddler crabs aggregated in the thousands.. we probably killed 100s of them just by walking but it's impossible not to step on them.
tomorrow night we're going on a night time neuse river hike to look for animals in the brakish water. there are alligators and poisonous snakes there so it should be a fun experience. on saturday we're going to okracoke (sp?) island which is kinda touristy just for fun. i'm gonna miss the people here. i've mostly been hanging out with people that were here in the spring semester. watching movies, playing 4 square, etc..
all my decisions about classes and going into summer sessions have been so last minute. i was almost certain i wouldnt be here first session, and gave up completely to go to 2nd session (though i still got in?) but i guess on this track, i should theoretically be able to take 2 classes of my own choice second semester senior year because i'll have my requirements pretty much done.. all without ever overloading during a semester :) i feel accomplished.
i think taking marine mammals will be a good experience also to test if it's something i would really do in the future. were i to go to grad school, it would probably be somewhere in the field of behavioral ecology & conservation of predatory marine mammals (idealy killer whales) it'd be nice to be exposed to a class like this which i hear from all the professors here is a rare experience. All of this will have to be weighed in with whether or not i want to go into some sort of full-time ministry. good advice i got from joe ho and allison at rockbridge was that i should walk down the paths as if i'm going, and see what God does. They encouraged me that it's still very early. For now I think the game plan is to go through next year ready to apply to be on IV staff, but at the same time taking the GREs and looking for grad schools and exploring options in ministry that aren't IV related. I talked with Dr. Dan recently about the personal statement i had to write and from reading what i wrote he said that i'm not ready for grad school, and i should consider taking a year off to work at a whale research center or something. i feel like if i were at any other previous state of my life, this would've been devestating to hear, but i actually felt relieved when he told me this. it reminded me that i'm still young, and i still have a lot of time to figure things out. there is less pressure to make life decisions on a whim.
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