A full weekend

So a lot of stuff happened this weekend. Me, Christina, and Isaac (a fellow marine-labber) drove back to duke. i saw a big pig on the side of the highway :) but when i pointed it out excitedly, i realized that i just woke everyone up..

We made it in time for large group though! ..and even part of family dinner! eating at mcdonalds again was bittersweet in the nostalgic/i-just-lost-another-year-of-my-life sort of way. Large group was great though! Mark Acuff spoke. I'm excited for him. Even though he just left CHBC, i'm so inspired by his passion to pursue those in need and his dedication in coming to duke one last time. So in keeping with our theme, he talked about genuine relationships and how our fear of failure can get in the way. Two things really stuck out to me. He used the original sin story showing how Adam's first reaction to God was to blame Eve and God and to not admit the possibility that he could've done wrong on his own. This was a sort of goose-bumps moment for me cause Alex Kirk had also talked about this passage when he talked about forgiveness of self (check it out on itunesU.. really good talk!). But Alex really highlighted God's first sort of question where he was like "Where are you?" The few hours before lg that week was one of the times i really felt God calling me, but that's another story.. so that's the goosebumps. But yeah, I think that it's true even today the extent of how we blame others for our own failures and how that really creates barriers between us.

The second thing that really stuck out to me was Mark's story about one of his sons who blogged on "stuffchristianslike" about a part of his life that he "failed" and how when Mark read it he felt just horrible that he didnt even know about it. He realized though that he was taking his son's failures and translating it to his own failures though. But when he really made it about his son and not him, he could truly feel for his son, and love his son. And in the same way (a father's love) God looks at all our failures with that kind of love and compassion. I feel like a "father's love" is a very appropriate analogy. Though i'm not a dad, i feel like it resonates with me cause my little brother is 9 years younger than me. I would say he has had the biggest effect on me in my life (other than God). I think a byproduct of that is that i feel like i grew a sense of parenting as a kid and i definitely show love differently to him than my older brother who i grew up with. This also really resonated with me because of the small group talks at retreat i mentioned in the other post. I think that when we realize each others failures with a foundation of love, it should grow us closer. Barriers are broken as a result and we can show true compassion.

So i'm also really really happy i got to go to CHBC again!! Dave Ward spoke about not picking favorites. I love the way CHBC does things sometimes. So Nat Stine (worship leader) usually wears like really casual clothes, but that day he was really dressed up and like everyone noticed. Then the guy playing piano was wearing torn painting clothes. Some in the choir dressed very nicely. Byron (orchestra conductor) even wore a tux, while others wore t-shirts and stuff. Basically they were making a point about the extent of which we pay attention to appearance and how we can often show favoritism that way. Dave shared a time when he was at a different church and the pastor was talking to him about a couple he just met and said "You can tell by looking at them that they're a quality couple" and that got him thinking cause Jesus preached how God only looks at a person's heart, and you can tell nothing from appearance. Anyways, Dave also talked about a time he was at a UNC game and he was standing a cheering and a guy behind him kept telling him to sit down and he eventually got mad and yelled at him. Then his wife asked him "What would you do if you saw that guy in church on sunday?" Dave talked about viewing the world through "Christ-colored glasses" not seeing socioeconomic status, age, gender, race, etc. Instead seeing children of God equally redeemed. I thought his last line was incredibly thoughtful. He said "One day we can see the world through Christ-colored EYES, but until then let's use our Christ-colored glasses". It really puts things in perspective i think when you look at everyone as someone who Christ died for. No matter how mad at them or caught up in the moment you are.

So yah, this weekend really recharged me in reminding me how many opportunities for enlightment Christian communities offer. Something i still feel like the marine lab lacks. I'm trying to keep my personal discipline going by reading through the gospel of John, but it's difficult. Sometimes i feel tired, sometimes i read just to get through a chapter, sometimes i read as if i've read it one too many times and wont gain anything from it. I'm really encouraged by your post, sabrina. I think i need to really start paying attention to what God wants to tell me. I need to learn to listen on my own, not always relying on a pastor. It really is a blessing for us to even be able to hear from God, I don't doubt that now.

In other news, Block A at the marine lab is ending the friday after next. Which means we'll be taking marine animal physiology next and hopefully have a lighter schedule. Things with the roomie have kinda slowed down. I kinda introduced him to internet tv... so it's pretty quiet in the room now with us watching our stories. hopefully i can man-up and start talking to him about God.. anyways, i will be keeping you all in my prayers :)