"let's go home"

home (hm)

n.

1. A place where one lives; a residence.

2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.

4.

a. An environment offering security and happiness.

b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

5. The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.

6. The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.

7. The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.

8. A headquarters; a home base.

9.

a. Baseball Home plate.

b. Games Home base.

10. An institution where people are cared for: a home for the elderly.

11. Computer Science

a. The starting position of the cursor on a text-based computer display, usually in the upper left corner of the screen.

b. A starting position within a computer application, such as the beginning of a line, file, or screen or the top of a chart or list.

it's interesting how the definition of "home" can change so much. it's so relative. my home is in charleston, south carolina, but i live at duke. here in madrid, my home is my señora's house. when i'm traveling, my home can be a hotel room or a hostel. home also means people too. last weekend, i visited london, and i was able to see emily lin, and in a way, seeing her was being at home. :) so many homes... hmm...

i think my ultimate home is under God's wing. (especially with definitions 4 & 7.) ;)

that black boulder

i had a pretty rough week: a presentation about the Stroop Test and the Columbia Mental Maturity Scale, a paper about diagnosing Asperger's Syndrome and Autism, and an exam on more spanish grammar. x_x

due to the stress and lack of sleep from this week, i have acquired about four new pimples on my face. today, a friend and i were talking about breaking out, and she pointed out a pimple on her face that was bothering her. i hadn't even noticed until she pointed it out. then, for the rest of the day, i knew it was there, but it didn't bother me, and i soon forgot about it.

hmm. when i get pimples, i get so obsessed with them and become so self-conscious and sometimes it affects my behavior and interaction with others. it ends up being though, that no one notices or if they do, they don't care.

i think this is how God and i might be. vamos a ver:
i see my pimple, and it's gross. whenever i look in the mirror, the pimple is all that i see and all that defines me for that moment.

i see [my sin], and it's gross. whenever i look in the mirror, [my sin] is all that i see and all that defines me for that moment.

pimple = sin... hahahaha.

however, God sees the bigger picture; He realizes that the pimple is actually only a tiny portion of the face. He doesn't care if i have one, He still smiles at me.

lately i've been only been seeing my sin in front of me. i want to step back and see the greater picture and see how God's grace is so much greater than anything i've ever done.

usa: cheese! spain: whiskey!

i never was much of a camera person. i didn't like carrying it around because i was always too lazy to take pictures. however, since i've been in madrid, i've posted 10 albums so far on facebook. o_0 wowsers.

i'm pretty picky with my pictures. if it's blurry (unintentionally) or if the composition, angle, or the lighting doesn't seem right to me, i'll delete it. it usually takes several tries to get a good picture. out of all the pictures i take, i delete about half of them~~ it's good because with bad pictures, i can distinguish which are good pictures.

this is something i forget all the time. i need mess ups. drafts. the bad. they lead to the good! it's a process. i forget this when i'm drawing or writing music. i expect the best at the snap of a finger, and it doesn't happen. then, i get frustrated and give up. tsk tsk tsk.

same goes for my walk with God. one of the biggest challenges in my relationship with God is that it is a process. i like to-do lists. i like crossing things off to-do lists. unfortunately for me, God and me don't work this way. i can't cross off patience or love. these are things i need to work on all the time. and things i think i've crossed off already come back and bite me in the butt. for example, who knew accepting God's love could be so hard?

the simple and the most fundamental things are the hardest to understand and easiest to forget. maybe He planned it this way so that i never take those things for granted, and He can reiterate His love for me.

i'm realizing this post might not make sense. :)

one

Hello, folks! Emily here, writing from the University of Reading in England. Although it seems that most of you have already pushed through the first round of midterms and into the relief of fall break and fall retreat, this is only my third week of classes.

I am taking courses solely in typography – Design Practice 1, Introduction to Editorial Design, Typeforms, and History of Graphic Communication – which is quite a departure from the chemistry major. It’s delightful to finally be able to study something I’ve dreamed of for a few years. I enjoy enjoying homework. On average, I have a rather alarming seven (or fewer) hours of class per week. It’s been an exercise in time management and diligence, as well as an opportunity to hop on trains and travel hundreds of miles.

Free time and longish train rides to faraway places have left me the space to read, think, and talk to God. It’s excellent. Although I’m away from InterVarsity and West Club, God has definitely met me here (including but certainly not limited to providing a church and a campus fellowship) and is pushing me to grow. I am learning about pride, idolatry, and faith. They are inextricably bound to each other, which simplifies everything yet makes each step towards change seem that much harder. Leaving the first two leaves me little to cling onto but the third. Which is the point, I think.

Let me know how things are going at Duke! I can catch a glimpse through facebook, but I’d prefer to chat – I have AIM, gchat, and skype. Less stalking, more talking ;]

the basics

Duke-In-Madrid Courses:
Spain in the 21st Century
Recent Spanish Cinema
Communication Skills

Universidad San Pablo Course:
Trastornos del Desarrollo y Dificultades de Aprendizaje
[Development & Learning Disabilities I]

This is the second week of class. It's not bad so far. I always miss something because the classes are taught in Spanish. My USP class is really interesting, probably my favorite out of all my classes. Although my professor speaks very quickly, he lectures with powerpoint, which helps a lot. The only thing about taking a psychology class is that it's offered on a different campus from the main one. If I take the metro, I have to pay 1 euro because it's not a part of central Madrid (not to mention that it takes about an hour on the metro). They have free shuttle buses (20 minutes) to and from Montepríncipe (campus where psych classes are offered). BUT, the hours are horrible. They have buses running early afternoon and then evening time. So, on Tues/Thurs I'm stuck on this campus for 3 hours after my class ends. Wednesdays, I have to take the metro back (sad face for what it's going to cost me; I wish Duke would cover it) because I have class back on the main campus at 6 pm (shuttle buses leave at 6:30pm). I'm actually at Montepríncipe now. una hora más!

Beatriz Diaz

is my host mom. :) She is pretty much wonderful. It's just us two in her apartment. Most of the other DIM students have roommates. At first, I really wanted one, but I think I enjoy being by myself. I don't speak English as much as I would if I had a roommate. Also, I'm not overwhelmed by a Spanish family because it's just Beatriz in the house. I feel really lucky too: I don't do my own laundry and also Beatriz is a great cook. We barely have breakfast, lunch is served at around 2pm and is the biggest meal of the day (people go back home for lunch), and dinner is at around 9pm. There isn't much snacking so I'm always super-hungry before meals.

Puerta del Angel

is my metro stop. I really like the metro system here. I haven't figured out the buses though-they confuse me. They have C1's and C2's here! :D It's different seeing small cute cars everywhere (I'm from South Carolina where people drive trucks!). I enjoy walking around. I actually haven't been in Madrid that long because we have been traveling a lot (Andalucía & Galicia! Barcelona next week!). I'm going to make an effort to go on walks often to see what's around~

Amigos

Luckily, I've gotten close to a few of the other DIM kids. There's a group of us who go out together. This I'm thankful for. :) Last week, in my USP class (about 10 kids, which is nice), I forced myself to turn around and introduce myself to some other Spanish students. Haha. There is a girl in the class who can speak English, and she's been really nice. We're partners for projects we have to do for the class (err, I don't know what kind of projects yet because I didn't catch that part while our Professor was explaining). Also, today, I met a girl on the busride here. She studied in Ohio for a year before so she empathized with me. Yay for Spanish friends. :)

Tomorrow

will mark my one-month stay here. It's weird to think that I've already been away for a month! I'm slowly adjusting to everything. I'm thankful that I get to be on a routine now that classes have started. Thanks for the prayers lovelies. I've been praying a lot more as well. Although, I haven't found a church yet, I've been listening to sermons online~ Hopefully, coming Sunday, I'll check out a church. :) I hope you peeps are doing great back at Duke. I miss you!

games

jenga.

the strong tower i once was is no more. there are gaps and holes and emptiness. blocks of comfort, friends, family, home is quickly removed. new pressures, surroundings, people, language are added one by one. i am wobbling and the slightest blow will make me topple. dear Dad, please fill the emptiness with Your love, please help me stand firm with the knowledge that You are with me.

catch phrase. charades.

my señora and i communicate. there are words and phrases i don't know how to say. i fill the space with umms and uhhs. i jump from one word to another trying to express an idea. she moves her arms and makes facial expressions. i match these with what i think she is saying.

telephone.

it is physically draining because i feel the need to understand everything. but, i find myself easily zoning out. spanish so quickly becomes background noise. to prevent this, i mentally slap myself back into reality. i think i'm getting better, but it's difficult to understand. i hear things that aren't said.

maria (what i hear): "quieres ver algo?" [do you want to see something?]

me (thinking: hmm, i don't know what else there is to see in this pueblo, i'll just say i don't know): "no sé"

everyone stops and just stares at me for a second. i find out later:

maria (what was actually said): "quieres beber algo?" [do you want something to drink?]

at the swimming pool:

a friend of my señora (what was actually said): "sabes nadar?" [do you know how to swim?]

a friend of my señora (what i hear): "sabes nada?" [do you know nothing?]

at first, i was quite taken aback. (what i was thinking): excuse me? i'm not the best at spanish, but that doesn't mean i know nothing!

tarzan & jane

Uff! What a day... I arrived at the Barajas Aiport at about 10am (here). This was my first time riding a taxi alone. [I think the last time I rode a taxi was with my mom when we went to Korea 13 yrs ago]. The driver and I had a decent conversation; I tried to sound as confident as I could speaking Spanish. haha. When I got to my Señora's house, she was waiting for me outside; she greeted me with a hug and a kiss on each cheek. :) After we took all my luggage up, she showed me around. She is super sweet. Then, I took a nap and woke up around lunchtime. After the meal, I unpacked everything and then watched some Spanish tv. Later, my Señora and I took a walk around Old Madrid. She even bought me some helado! The architecture was quite beautiful. As she took me around, she explained things/places to me. The sad part was that I could only understand about half of what she said. Although I got the gist of what was said, I wish I could make out all the details.

[My Señora knew my name as Sang. I told her she could call me Jane. She kept forgetting and asked me several times. Then, a few hours later, she came by my room and said "Jane! like Tarzan's girlfriend, Jane!" :) ]

When I first departed, my biggest worry was that I wouldn't make my connecting flight. Then, my next worries were finding my baggage, calling my Señora, exchanging money, and taking a taxi without being ripped off. Once I was in bed to take my nap, I was relieved to know that the worst was over. It was then that it hit me. I hadn't even thought about my time here yet! A part (a very small part) of me was excited about traveling and learning. But, a bigger part of me wanted to beat myself up for being here. This part wants me to pack up again and go back to Duke. What am I doing here in a foreign country? My biggest fears now are that I won't have any friends [I don't know the other Duke-in-Madrid kids], that I'll run out of money, and that I won't get the language down. :(

It's like when I ride a roller coaster. As I wait in line and get in the seats, I'm uber-excited. But as the ride gets going, I'm like "What did I get myself into?". This happens to be all in vain because I end up enjoying the ride.

Hopefully, my time here will be like my roller coaster story. Dios mío, ayudame por favor.

Settling In at the Biological Station

Hi Everyone! Not sure how often I'll post on this blog, but I thought I'd at least say hi! I'm in Costa Rica with the Organization for Tropical Studies, on their program in "Tropical Medicine and Global Health." There are 4 guys + 15 girls = 19 students total. I like everyone so far and have even been blessed to find 2 Christians, which is an answered prayer for sure. God has been so good to me on this trip: He helped me get over homesickness on my first day, has protected me so far from stomach issues and from bee stings :), and the classes have been interesting. I go to bed around 11 pm and get up at 5:30 am in order to shower and make it to breakfast by 6:30 am. Class is 6 days a week. We have field trips in the morning, lunch, 2 class sessions in the afternoon, dinner, and 1 class session. But there are breaks throughout; in fact right now I'm sitting on my bunk, resting after a nature walk, waiting for the lunch bell to ring.

The first few days we were in San José, which is a city but not like a "city" in the United States for sure. I haven't found it to be culture shock because I've been to Puerto Rico and Malaysia and there are some similarities. Now we are at a biological station right outside of the little town of San Vito. The large house we live in is right in the middle of a botanical garden: not manicured like the Sarah P. Duke Gardens, but beautiful nonetheless. It's probably cooler and less humid than Duke, in fact, because we are on a mountain, 4,000 feet above sea level.

Yesterday we visited two clinics and I saw firsthand how different the healthcare system is here compared to that of the United States.

I know that I'm going to have moments of homesickness, or feeling like I'm stuck here for so much longer, but for now it's enjoyable and I've already learned a lot.

I hope all of you who are abroad or are about to be abroad are doing well. I pray that you find Christian fellowship wherever you go, that you learn a lot, and that you bless the people around you. For everyone at Duke, have a great NSO and Fresh Start!

Perfect timing, the lunch bell just rang. Sounds a little like a cow bell! :)

~Liz

ich hab' noch einen Koffer in Berlin

DISCLAIMER: This one's really long. I wrote it first as an email update to family and friends back home, but I wanted to share this with you guys too.

The subject line is the title of one of Marlene Dietrich’s songs and the official translation is “I still keep a suitcase in Berlin.” We watched a play about this Berlin born actress-singer that featured Judy Winter, who’s known for her depiction of Marlene Dietrich. This song describes how Berlin is wonderful; how, although other places are nice too, berlin is where the heart longs to be. Here’s a link to an English translation of it in case you’re interested: http://german.about.com/library/blmus_hknef_kofferE.htm
I have this as the subject of this email because I’m actually starting to feel a lil pained knowing that I’m going to leave in 3 weeks. I didn’t expect this to happen since it didn’t happen until recently. Throughout these couple of months, I’ve had bouts of homesickness and would long for the sun and friends and food and family back home. I think what really triggered the release of this feeling of attachment was the week-long Brussels trip last week.

I went with my polisci class to Brussels to learn more about the EU and NATO (more EU than NATO actually) as well as the people who work there and the city. The weather and noise at night reminded me of Taiwan (suuper muggy; what made it worse was having to wear our nice clothes most of the time). We got to listen to presentations/participate in discussions in the European Economic and Social Committee building, the European Commission building, the Consilium, European Parliament building, and NATO headquarters. Every time we had one of these opportunities, I almost wished I was a European polisci major (does that exist?) just so I could’ve been forced to know background on a lot of the topics. Unfortunately my companion, narcolepsy, overpowered me way too often (it was most likely just my brain shutting off after a blockage in understanding occurred). Don’t get me wrong, the material was indeed very interesting; my body is just weaksauce. Oh, that and my German and knowledge of political issues aren’t that great. I tried fighting off the sleepiness in all sorts of new ways: doing random drawings, creating abstract art/doodles, pinching myself, biting myself, clenching my fists real hard, etc. all to no avail. I’m so glad other people were more awake and/or prepared and so could engage the presenters in some good discussion after asking a not too simple question. I was glad to learn what I DID learn during those times I was awake. I found the city of Brussels to be of interest as well because it’s where all these important EU and NATO buildings lie, meaning people from all over Europe are there. Although the official languages are Flemish and French, you can hear people on the street speaking German and Italian and Russian and many more languages there all the time. Although I started wearing a laughing smile after noticing that our professor introduced us each time as a group “representing 9 different countries,” I really do feel proud to have been a part of such a diverse group (we represented Germany, Hungary, Turkey, Russia, Belarus, Poland, Moldova, China, and the USA…and if you count our international duke student from Taiwan, that’s 10 countries (: ). I got to know the non-Duke/Davidson-in-Berlin-program students much better, and I think they’re so cool. :) Not only do they individually and collectively know so many languages (and have cool accents!), they’re all pretty knowledgeable in current topics and carry with them experiences and backgrounds that were so new to me. Regarding the number of languages: A NATO representative said one time (paraphrased), “If people know you’re American, they’ll admire you for knowing one other language. The western Europeans know an average of 3, maybe 4. East Europeans are scaring everybody else because they know 6.”

And this was the start of my true growing love of Berlin. I feel so blessed to be able to study abroad here in Berlin where I can take a class with people from all these different countries and experience going on a trip with them. During the trip, the weather kept making me long for Berlin, although Berlin does not have ideal weather by far (it's supposed to be summer right now, but it still gets cold and we get thunderstorms and other random rainshowers). On the last night we had in Brussels, I and three other people stood together to watch a festival/show being put on to celebrate, based on what I saw, the union of the many different member countries of the EU. When I saw the German flag (and later the flags of the different federal states), I remember thinking, "yeah! go Deutschland (germany)! woohoo! We're all part of one Europa." I felt as if I were a proud German onlooker. A few minutes later, however, I realized, "hmm, that's a strange thing to think. I'm American and the US isn't part of the EU, so technically I don't have much of a part in this celebration." That didn't stop me from feeling like a proud German however, and I simply stood there watching on. I started thinking about all the things Berlin has had to offer me, and there really is a lot. Diversity, knowledge, relatively cheap prices for basic foods, history, cultural events, etc. By being here as long as I have, I've also been able to add German as another language that I can actually use (hopefully I don't lose it after going back to duke). So along with souvenirs like official EU stationary, a mini-flowerpot, 2 kg of weight, and a bruise (from being stuck between fast-closing train doors and falling through the gap between the wagon and the platform after the doors released me), I've brought back with me a new spot in my heart for Berlin.

I wish now more than ever to explore more and experience more in Berlin. I unfortunately have a couple things in the way. I'm taking the TestDAF (German equivalent of TOEFL) this coming Wednesday. I've still got a semester paper to write for my polisci class on migration in Germany. And I've got my semester finals (only graded components of the classes) for Statistics and Signals & Systems the first two days of my sister's visit (yes, she's visiting!). I luckily have finished my Berlin research project paper and presentation, which had taken over the majority of my time for a few weeks. Prayers for focus during these next 2 weeks would be appreciated, esp. since I seem to be a lil ADHD too. :)

Pictures: I didn't receive my newly ordered camera until this past wednesday, so I have no original pictures from the Brussels trip. I'll attach some from diligent facebookers, but I don't know how good the quality will be.
1) napping DURING A BREAK during a seminar at the EU Commission

2) at a bar for the 20th birthday of Rebecca (duke student). Our professor got us a nice deal for cocktails.

3) before going to the EU Parliament, we rested at a nearby park, and during this time, Anna (girl from Moldova) made this amazing flower crown (apparently all the east european girls knew how to make them. talent.)

4) this one's actually in Cologne, but I thought it was a nice picture that showed everyone (minus our professor).

deja vu

Marine Lab Part 3. Chiseled veteran. Rawr, I'm gonna skip orientation tomorrow. That's how veteran I am :D. I like how familiar salty-air smells now. I don't even notice the bad taste of the oceany water anymore either. Other than taking the highly anticipated marine mammals class, I'm excited, spiritually, to be back. At home, my prayer life was weak, my devotional life was marginal, and my focus was not on target at all. That's not to say God hasn't been at work though. I really feel like He put a LOT of things on my mind in the past 3 weeks about next year and other things. However, being at home puts me in too much comfort and complacency. Spending time with Duke people is very fun, yet time consuming with the commute.. It's weird how being at the marine lab changes things. Maybe it's due to my introverted nature, but when I'm away from my friends and family, I am more disciplined spiritually. I don't have distractions, and am forced to a regular sleep schedule. Instead of playing basketball, I read. Actually it might also be the set-up of our bunks.. They're really devo-friendly..

They're triple bunks, but I've always chose the bottom which is pretty much a mattress on the floor. There's a reading light at the head of the bed and a gap that's conveniently large enough to fit scrap notebooks, books, my bible, and my journal. Being a triple bunk made of wood, directly above me is a convenient place to tape papers and to write down prayer requests so I can't forget. I accidently left my lists taped on my bunk from last session.. I'm now living in the room next door (a bigger one.. so yay upgrade) but I wonder what will happen to the list. I haven't met the people yet. That'd be cool if they prayed. It might also be awkward to ask them for my list back..

Supposedly I only have class mon, wed, thurs.. which means.. 3 DAY WEEKENDS! which probably means I will be easily suckered into visiting Duke.. If my career paths fail I can always be a cab driver. I'm getting really good at driving unnecessarily long distances and keeping track of the gas prices in a 180 mile stretch.

biuuuuuuuuuuu (whale sound)

this is what i imagine heaven to be like..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMK8mb6bGx0&feature=related
i like how the song in the video mimics whale calls. i thought that was neat.

i'm looking forward to going back to the marine lab again. this video reminded me why i was taking the marine mammals class :) i hope i can do something like that video at some point in my life. There's just so many cool parts of the world. That video was in french polynesia. It reminded me of my roommate last semester from papua new guinea around the same area. the oceans there are still pristine and visibility is so high (you can see the ground in that video! crazy.. lucky if you can see 5 feet ahead of you in the marine lab waters..)

~2 weeks later, 6 days late

'ello =)

I'll start my clarifying the second half of the subject title. I'm 6 days late wishing Michelle Kwak an AMAZING HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I don't doubt that you Michelle are getting some beautiful God-taught lessons everyday, but I hope that this past week has proven to be especially lovely. =) When you get the time, please update us on your adventures!

The ~2 weeks later part is not as happy, but still important. It's been almost 2 weeks since I lost my camera with pictures since my spring break on it. I realized that it was missing after I ran to catch a train and panicked at first, but then decided to try something different, aka let God know my worries and not worry. The train suddenly stopped and stayed like that for another 20 min. causing me to be late for class. I started complaining to God saying, "what is going on? 2 bad things in a row? And what's with the lost camera? Is learning to pull the zipper of the front pocket of my backpack all the way down really worth my losing the camera?" It wasn't until later as I walked to the building where my class was held that I realized how blessed and, at the same time, how spoiled I was. The fact that I could complain about a lost camera implied that I wasn't worried about what I was going to eat for lunch (a Doener, yum) or where I was going to sleep. That's a blessing, which I take for granted. Another thing I take for granted is that I don't have back-to-back problems like losing things and getting stuck on public transportation all the time. For some reason I expect life to go smoothly and to get perhaps a few small bumps along the way. So I guess this camera-losing business gave me a better lesson that I had thought.

I was supposed to start my Berlin project a while ago, but only recently began working on it. This project is part of my Berlin Lit/Culture class. We're supposed to pick a topic and then research and do interviews with ppl in Berlin. I picked the Social welfare system (didn't realize beforehand how big a topic it'd be). It's hard work trying to read up on this stuff esp. since reading things in a foreign language usually makes me fall asleep. What was even harder for me though was to gather enough courage to talk to random people at the Jobcenter, where people come to register as unemployed and get help looking for jobs. There were a lot of people who didn't want to talk, which I can understand, but it makes asking the next time just a bit harder. After I got back on Thursday from a trip to a few institutions for my project, I asked my host mom what she thought about it. She seemed flustered but gave me a bit of her opinion. Later when I went back into the kitchen, she asked me why in the world did I pick such a hard and complex topic to which she didn't even know how to respond? Why not something easy like the church I attend (during this conversation my host sister's pretty much echoing her mom)? I told her I got the idea after watching one of the plays we had to read. She then started calling me such a child and asking if I could even grasp the topic. I let her know that I intended to keep going, esp. since I was in the middle of it already. She then let me off with the words, "Then keep on torturing yourself." Aiya, why am I such a weak person? I felt so discouraged from this conversation and hurt again. I don't like how sensitive I am to some things. My sister told me to either really get over it or, if I can't, bring it up with my host mom. Since I feel like it's just german culture to be so straight forward and because I'm a wuss and don't want to rock the boat, I didn't really consider option 2. That means I'll have to deal with these sensitivity issues. Sigh, I wish I were a rock sometimes. Or, even better, never lose sight of the fact that my value lies with God.

Today's sermon was on passion and how we might learn what our God-given passion is. The passage used was from the beginning of Nehemiah where he broke and wept after hearing of the condition of Jerusalem, and after that fasted and prayed until that critical conversation with King Artaex...(sthg). The speaker said Nehemiah's reaction was the point when his desires intersected with God's and that's when Nehemiah discovered his passion (to rebuild the city of Jerusalem). One of the indicators brought up as to how we'd realize what our passion is, is to ask ourselves what makes us cry/laugh/angry? There were other points, but this one was what stood out to me. What makes me sad though is that I don't think I know what my passion is. I don't really know what exactly stirs me. I want God to reveal this to me while I'm still here.

marine lab = black hole :D

i can't escape the marine lab!!
so it looks like i'll probably be staying at the marine lab for the 2nd summer session too haha (july 6-aug7). it's true what they say that most people who go to the marine lab will come back. the one class i ever wanted to take at duke was marine mammals (only available in summer session 2). so i was wait listed on this class for a long time, and then i decided to take myself off the waitlist and try to relax for the rest of summer, but the marine lab admin doesnt work w/ aces so i just found out few days ago that i got in the class. now i have to reapply for financial aid (after withdrawing my application.. hope they let me do it) but yeah, it looks like i might be here yet another month.. still havent made my mind up yet 100%...

this session is going great though. i'm not particularly interested in the class i'm taking, but it's not too difficult and i guess we're doing an interesting lab and we occassionally get to relax and enjoy nature as a class. last night we canoed over to carrot island again and walked around the water with underwater lights to look at things and collect samples for various labs. dr. dan taught us how to catch flounder with our bare hands (supercool) and we saw sting rays, crabs, fish, all sorts of things. everything is cool at night. we saw fiddler crabs aggregated in the thousands.. we probably killed 100s of them just by walking but it's impossible not to step on them.

tomorrow night we're going on a night time neuse river hike to look for animals in the brakish water. there are alligators and poisonous snakes there so it should be a fun experience. on saturday we're going to okracoke (sp?) island which is kinda touristy just for fun. i'm gonna miss the people here. i've mostly been hanging out with people that were here in the spring semester. watching movies, playing 4 square, etc..

all my decisions about classes and going into summer sessions have been so last minute. i was almost certain i wouldnt be here first session, and gave up completely to go to 2nd session (though i still got in?) but i guess on this track, i should theoretically be able to take 2 classes of my own choice second semester senior year because i'll have my requirements pretty much done.. all without ever overloading during a semester :) i feel accomplished.

i think taking marine mammals will be a good experience also to test if it's something i would really do in the future. were i to go to grad school, it would probably be somewhere in the field of behavioral ecology & conservation of predatory marine mammals (idealy killer whales) it'd be nice to be exposed to a class like this which i hear from all the professors here is a rare experience. All of this will have to be weighed in with whether or not i want to go into some sort of full-time ministry. good advice i got from joe ho and allison at rockbridge was that i should walk down the paths as if i'm going, and see what God does. They encouraged me that it's still very early. For now I think the game plan is to go through next year ready to apply to be on IV staff, but at the same time taking the GREs and looking for grad schools and exploring options in ministry that aren't IV related. I talked with Dr. Dan recently about the personal statement i had to write and from reading what i wrote he said that i'm not ready for grad school, and i should consider taking a year off to work at a whale research center or something. i feel like if i were at any other previous state of my life, this would've been devestating to hear, but i actually felt relieved when he told me this. it reminded me that i'm still young, and i still have a lot of time to figure things out. there is less pressure to make life decisions on a whim.

3...2...1 the last Chapter

Chapter 10 is titled "How Can I Know?" It was short but got its point across. How much we intellectually know about God doesn't say anything about our relationship with Him; it's really got to do with the heart, something which I have trouble with sometimes with certain truths. For example, in my head I know my value lies in God alone, but this isn't always fully incorporated into my heart knowledge as can be seen when I gauge my value according to other people's opinions or my image. This chapter, however, deals with mainly taking that first step into a relationship with the LORD. The uniqueness of Christianity was brought up again in that God (the "initiator", as the author wrote) reveals Himself to us first and thus begins "communication." Sending His Son into the context of this world, which we are more familiar with, was all part of His plan of revealing Himself (clearly). We're not the ones who take the first step and act on our own in the hopes of figuring out this almighty Being. God promises that He'll make Himself known, as long as the person seeks Him and is open. I rejoice in the fact that God loved us first and reaches out to us. =D

Random news:
-I got excited during home group on Friday because I met Canadians for the first time here. XP They were actually here for just a visit; they're studying graphic design in Weimar for a year, which I find almost unimaginable because I've been there and that place is super tiny. The city part of the town seems like it can be crossed in 10 min. Really nice girls. Too bad they're gone already.
-Went to the Jewish Museum and one of my favorite exhibits was one called "Fallen Leaves" by Daniel Libeskind. The floor is covered with over 10,000 metal faces and is dedicated to the innocent victims of war and violence. You're supposed to interact with it and step on them. You realize soon enough it's impossible to not make a sound when you go through. One way to interpret this is that WE are just as important a part of the exhibit because without us, no one would hear these faces, so it's like we're waking up the memories of those before.

-Today I saw through my window a rainbow that was visible throughout the storm. :)

ch 9

wow, this is the 2nd to last chapter! it's about sexuality, mainly homosexuality. i think basically the author was talking about how too much emphasis is put on the debate about whether homosexuality is genetic or behavioral, but it really doesnt matter because it shouldn't define a person either way. It's sad how many misconceptions there are that all Christians are homophobic people. and our society today pretty much outcasts you if you express any form of "homophobia" or intolerance. I feel like that in itself is a form of intolerance too.. homophobaphobia? anyways, i def agree with the author that that debate is getting us nowhere and that it's not the defining character of a person.

I feel like just as God gives each of us strengths and different measures of faith, it's the same with weaknesses. We still atleast have the choice to want to grow closer to God. Especially in today's society, it's hard to reconcile homosexuality with sin atleast publicly. if you call it a sin, you're outcasted, but i feel the bible is clear on this issue. i feel like there's a more socially accepted but sorta similar example: it's a well known fact that boys are more sexually driven than girls. you can even look at it scientifically with testosterone levels. if you give girls testosterone, they have more sexual desire. I guess people try to see homosexuality the same way.. it's just how they're born.. just part of their biology. It doesnt make it ok for guys to go around womanizing every girl they see though. Guys, just like girls still have to live for something greater. We have that choice no matter what is in our dna or chemical environment.

semi-update

I am unfortunately NOT caught up with the reading, but I decided I'd just write a short update. So...and now my mind is not working. Alrighty, so the 50 summer program kids (duke and rutgers) arrived last weekend, and I got to meet some of them while we did a 6-hr. bike tour of Berlin. It was a very nice surprise to see Tomi at our reststop at a Biergarten. :) I had no idea she'd be coming. It looks like the summer program doesn't coincide very well with our semester program schedule, so I'll have to be very intentional to see her again.

I recently have felt really weird around my host mom. After spraining my ankle kind of badly from basektball Tuesday night, I got home knowing that my host mom had worked all day and wouldn't want to talk, but I thought she'd probably still respond if I asked a question. Seeing that she was still up, I called her name, but all she did was start to close her door. I thought, maybe she didn't hear me, so I called out again, and she just shut her door all the way. I felt kind of abandoned after that, but knew there was nothing else I could do. The next day she actually seemed kind of annoyed that I'd hurt myself, but wrote down numbers for me to call to make an appointment. Things seemed to be fine for the next few days, but then yesterday she gave me a lecture about how I'd get sick from sitting in my room all day and that it's not a smart thing to do. I don't know why this should really affect me so much, but I think the sequence of events put together made me even more emotionally sensitive. I thought I'd already be used to this bluntness after almost 5 months, since I get to experience this a lot from my host sister, but somehow I'm not. Part of the reason might be that I forget where my value lies (in God).
Oy, this post seems very unorganized.

I don't have too many interesting recent pictures, but here's one of a lion pulling at a piece of meat that I saw up close at the Zoo on Friday. It's sad how these big cats got such small cage areas. We hypothesized optimistically that they were just in these cages for feeding.

ch 8 wars

I thought this chapter was really really interesting. I was recently in a conversation with a nonchristian about how the old testament God could be the same as the one described in the new testament. There was a really troubling passage in 1 samuel where God commands for a village to be destroyed, no one spared, not even women, children, and livestock. throughout the whole conversation all i could think about was how much i wished i had read the old testament. i think i realized just how little i knew about the old testament there. it sparked a lot of questions in myself also.

i really like how the author talks about the "bigger picture" perspective and how warfare is shifted from a physical warfare to a spiritual warfare and how this is something God planned (seen in the so many prophesies about Jesus' life and purpose). i feel like it's still something that's difficult to interpret though especially in our modern world where there are still so many wars made on the basis of religion. in some ways i feel like we've been "spoiled" in this post-Jesus era where love is seen in the highest regard. I wonder what the mindset of the people before Jesus was. How did they see God? wars? judgement? What does it feel like to still await a savior? I feel like the early church had no problem reconciling Jesus' life as the one sent by the same God of the old testment. It must've made a lot more sense to them.

in other news, we just finished our first week at the marine lab. i'm still waiting for my roommate to arrive. my roommate is supposed to be pen-yuan for those of you who know him. He's the nicest guy ever and he lived across from me back in the southgate times. i feel like i've been so lucky in terms of roommates at the marine lab. and it's pretty cool that i got to live in a single for a week (just like last semester when my roommate came late from papua new guinea). Class is going pretty good. our professor has a really untraditional teaching method. there's very little structure and we learn mostly by trying things out and making self-discoveries. it's pretty cool i guess. we're working on experiments that will eventually get legitly published in scientific journals too, so we all get to be co-authors. Last night we canoed to carrot island nearby and collected animals. It was fun, we waded around the low tide and netted up blue crabs, learned to catch fish with our hands and cool stuff like that. The waters are so different at night. fish are not afraid to bump into you, your flashlight is a thing of fascination to the animals, and little crabs run around the shore in the millions. it is sad to think about a world where almost no one will ever get to experience nature like this.

marine lab part 2

I'm back at the marine lab for summer session 1 (till june 12). it feels weird to be back especially after an amazing week at rockbridge. There's something weird about having to write a 1 page personal statement on what you want to do in life after rockbridge instilled a sense of Godly purpose in you. "Research" doesn't seem very fulfilling anymore. here, everything is physically the same, but the people are different (except like 5 of us) and there are a lot more of us here and for a shorter time, so me and the people i was here with last semester are hanging out a lot more. i'm taking a biochemistry of marine animals class now. something i've noticed about professors here... it feels like most of them are extremely secular and openly ridicule religion. 3/5 of my professors at marine lab so far have made comments against christianity. i guess i can expect these sorts of things from people who make a career out of a science that is so media-ly biased against religion, but it's really annoying and makes me lose a lot of respect for them. It just doesnt seem fair that you can get in trouble for saying pro-religious things in the class room, but you can't get in trouble for saying anti-religious things in the same class room. Is this one of those turn the cheek situations? i always thought the turn-the-cheek applies to us, but they're talking about God. I feel like we're allowed to get angry in that situation. God shouldn't have to turn the cheek for anyone. Then again, was that what the cross was? one gigantic turning of the cheek? anyways, that was a pretty random rant..

i caught up on the reading (ch 7 was about is the bible sexist). i thought it was really interesting because i grew up going to a pretty liberal church. i never really thought it was an issue. then again, i'm a guy too and maybe i'm somewhat blind to it. My mom, a woman, was in many ways indirectly influencial in my walk with God. I also never looked at the samaritan woman story from that perspective.. i feel like it gets a lot of hype for being the Jesus breaking racism story, but taking into account the culture i agree that it must've been surprising that the woman at the well was a woman. I feel like after reading the chapter, it seems like Jesus actually did more to help women's rights than to oppress them given the cultural context just by doing culturally shocking things. It's also really cool how God is described in parables with qualities of a woman. i think it really speaks to how we're all made in the image of God. Those controversial verses in Paul's letters about women not teaching and being quiet in church and stuff bugged me too when i was growing up. i feel like paul said a lot of stuff that i sometimes didnt agree with. i would always just tell myself "well, paul was human too.. maybe he made a mistake". i feel like we dont understand the contexts of these letters well enough, so i'm just gonna stick with what Jesus said and acted on about these topics. I don't wanna discredit the epistles, but at the same time, i hold the gospels higher, and it seemed to me that Jesus loved women and men alike. the church is His bride. God is like a woman who lights a lamp and searches the house for a lost coin. I really don't think that God is sexist.. and it shouldn't be an issue in the church.

It's Mother's Day!

Hi e'rybody! I've been a bit of a slacker with this blog, I know. I made sure to NOT slack off in wishing my mom a happy mother's today though. Don't forget that today's Mother's Day! Let your mom feel appreciated. =)

So first with thoughts about Chapter 7 "Isn't the Bible Sexist?" It was a good reminder of how Jesus wasn't a sexist, but I didn't find it as convincing when the book addressed other issues. I couldn't figure out why it was so important to see the possibility of a fellow prisoner of Paul's being a female apostle. In the quoted verse as well as in the verse in my Bible, the male name was used, which seems to me that the majority of scholars believed the prisoner was male. Also, I don't see where it says that Paul told women to be silent in church and not ask questions (1 Cor. 14:28) because there was a problem with chatting. After looking at the other controversial passage (1 Tim. 2:12) and keeping in mind that Paul did mention Phoebe as a deaconess, I still have problems taking that in. And I got doubly confused with a following verse about how women will be saved through childbearing. o_0 Ack, I still have questions. Thoughts?

Another short update: Due to having Friday off for Labor Day, Justine, Rebecca, and I went to see Neuschwanstein (the castle Disneyland was based on) in Fuessen, Germany and got to go to Salzburg as well. Salzburg is where the Sound of Music's supposed to take place and where many of the shots were filmed. You guys should wiki The Sound of Music to read a few hilarious liberties the director & co. took with the story. (; After much debate, we decided to go on the Sound of Music tour, which was pretty cool because our tour guide was so awesome. The next day while resting during a short hike up a nearby mountain, I got on the topic of religion with Justine somehow and got to share my testimony! What I thought was really cool was that just the week before in home group, I shared mine for the first time in a long while. I see that incident as a kind of prep for my talk with Justine because my faith story came out more easily than I thought it would. For background, Justine grew up having to go to Catholic school to get confirmed, but didn't have anything to do with the church after that. She views religion very skeptically because she's seen all sorts of people back home who call themselves Christians and then drink and party during the week. She also feels like religion brings more problems than help. I feel like I chickened out when she asked if I thought she'd go to hell. I just answered that I don't really know how God's going to judge and then she said, "I feel like no one really knows what's going to happen after they die, and that people are Christians because they don't want to go to hell." So, anyway, it was an interesting conversation for me, and I don't know how it affected Justine, but PTL that God placed me there to show my friend another side of Christianity.
Another highlight was seeing the largest ice caves in the WORLD! :) I know I'm fortunate.

Congratulations all you 2009-ers! I will miss you dearly.

$

Hello. I was just curious if anyone knew anyone who would like be a future treasurer? Ideally the candidate would be:

• Mature
• Responsible
• Neat & organized
• Nice handwriting
• Never loses anything
• Knows people
• Impeccable integrity
• Comprehends how the convoluted Duke funding system works

And hopefully an underclassman so that s/he can continue for next year!

We're going to be seniors??! Seriously!

Trinidad!! way to end the semester

Last week me and christina and a bunch of other marine labbers went to trinidad as part of our bio/conservation of sea turtles class. we worked with leatherback sea turtles. it was amazing. we stayed at a guest house with the nature seekers (a local conservation organization started by a really inspirational woman) during the day we went on hikes and had lectures. we hiked to a waterfall and swam under it. it looked like a scene from a movie or something :)

every night we would ride on the back of a truck to the beach and patrol a zone for several hours looking for turtles nesting. the sky was so pretty with so many stars that you can't see here. you could see the southern cross and the north star in the same sky! we saw a bunch of shooting stars too. the turtles were huge and amazing too! they look so robotic like something from jurassic park just cause they're so big. Each turtle takes like 1-2 hours to nest and you really get a sense of how much dedication these animals put into their eggs. The most memorable moment for me is when we encountered a turtle with a short left rear flipper (they dig their nests with their rear flippers). the right one did ok, but there came a point when the left one couldn't reach the sand so i had to get on the sand and help the turtle dig a nest. It was really rewarding for me :) We also tagged the turtles with internal PIT tags and external flipper tags. It was really cool cause now there are a couple of endangered turtles out there that can be traced back to me :)

The people there are all really friendly and funny too. They all have such interesting lives and stories that they would share with us as we went out to work with the turtles. I really like living in countries like trinidad. it reminded me of rural taiwan. small town, intimate, tropic areas. While there aren't many luxuries, it's so easy to get in-tune with nature. You never forget where you came from, and adventure is always at your door step.

here's a link to all my pics:

Trinidad Pictures

chapter 6

whoa, i never knew islam and christianity were so "related". it's really interesting to read about this stuff.. i feel like i should get to know other religions better with a healthy curiosity just so i can understand other people better. i think the media corrupts too many things. it's really thought provoking that Muslims recognize the gospels and Jesus, just not His divinity or crucifixion. I'm guessing the author of the book is biased being Christian, but it seemed like she percieved the main objection of muslims to Christianity it that the gospels must've been changed. Thus justifying why Muhammad would reference the gospels and Torrah as good books to read in the past. The author gives evidence again that the gospels haven't really changed much though.

This chapter also talked about Hinduism briefly. I think a good thing the author does is really try to bring out the uniqueness of Christianity. Of course we shouldn't believe something just because it's unique, but it's still important to think about in my opinion. We have one God, prophets, and God came to us and is present on Earth in us whom He saved. So many athiests form their opinions on religion with the mindset that all religions are the same. I used to think looking at religion on a historical basis isn't constructive just cause history can be biased. While i still don't see it as sufficient, i think it can be really helpful in understanding how a faith comes to be. I feel like the fact that we have different faiths and that they can overlap like in Islam, really points to the degree that humans are truth-seekers. It's just a matter of putting the pieces together and finding truth in your own experiences. For some people who have the history down-packed just need a little push of experience to lead them to God. For some who experience a lot, they need the little push of historical knowledge to convince them it's real. Some people just need to start from scratch and discover.

chapter 5: what about the canon?

I'm writing this now cause i probably wont get a chance to write this weekend. Me and Christina are going to Trinidad!! We'll be working with leatherback sea turtles (the largest turtles in the world). The moment i've been waiting for :) I'll be heading back to chapel hill tomorrow to pack and get my travel stuff, so i will try to make it to senior lg, and get some bball in before i leave.

anyways, this chapter was good. I had to write a paper about how the canon was formed when i took the new testament class, and it was really refreshing to see a different perspective that the author had. I like how she talked about how the books were already pretty much universally agreed upon and the gathering of church leaders was merely to verify it in opposition to heretics who tried to make false teachings. I think it really speaks to a side of Christianity that can't be easily seen in history: oral tradition and practice. It was really interesting to hear about Martin Luther's account of sundays where people would gather to read the scriptures as long as they could, and how we know this today as "going to church".

When i was doing research for my paper last year one thing people tested for in recieving books for the canon was whether the authors were divinely inspired. Because that gives their writings authority. A lot of times I think about just how much influence Paul had in writing the majority of the new testament (although he probably didn't intend for it to be like that seeing as they were letters) and the issue of divine inspiration. Particularly, in 1 Corinthians 7:12, Paul is writing about his opinions on marraige saying "To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord)...." By acknowledging he's writing his own opinion, it really draws a line for you in terms of divine inspiration/authority and a suggestion from a human. I feel like sometimes Christians look to Paul more than they look to Jesus even if subconsciously or not on purpose. It's really good that the author brought up how certain books came to be in the Bible, cause i think it's really important to understand these things.

I can't wait to read the next chapter about other religious texts for other religions. That question has been on my mind when i was reading all the other chapters :)

DREAM Act

ok, this doesn't have to do with my abroad experience, but it's been on my mind, and i wanna encourage you guys to take some simple action :) and try to get the word out. every action counts!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBuTxE2kDwQ

There are very few times I feel like I can make a real difference in someone’s life. Especially in a democracy which acts on a large scale drowning out the voice of the individual and raising the voice of the majority which paradoxically is composed of individuals.

There are also few policies which I have a definite, non-controversial opinion on. Most issues, like abortion or capital punishment carry difficult implications to resolve morally. However, the DREAM Act is now something I support whole-heartedly. After reading through http://media.www.dukechronicle.com/media/storage/paper884/news/2009/04/03/Columns/Is.It.Too.Much.To.Dream-3696561.shtml , doing my own research on the topic, and watching the above video, I’ve realized there are still many injustices in this country which could easily be resolved simply through simple legislation.

The Chronicle story speaks power to the issue. It recounts the hardships a student at our very own Duke University surpassed to get to where he is now. The saddest thing is that while we “stressfully” debate what we’ll do after graduation with one another, this student probably won’t have a chance. Illegal immigrants can’t get drivers licenses, can’t get internships, can’t apply for jobs. The fact that they have worked the system far enough to get an education at Duke speaks to the level of determination and brilliance these people have. And to think that each year 65,000 graduates are in this position of holding a college degree and working low level, low profile jobs such as waiting tables and working construction.

Conservatives argue that granting amnesty to these people whose illegal status is the product of their parents struggles and not their own, is unfair to the American population. Honestly, this makes me furious. What is amnesty but a fancy word for forgiveness? Since when is forgiveness unacceptable in our culture. Actually.. since when is being brought up in America, albeit “illegally”, and wanting to succeed through our education system a moral travesty? There is no wrong to forgive. I am disappointed that much of America has adopted a selfish view on life, and that the media has portrayed immigration as a sin commited by low class criminals. Immigrants, legal or not, are human beings who want the same chance at a future as any other citizen.

One thing I’ve learned this year is that it’s easy to point the figure at something i know nothing about. It’s easy to regurgitate what we’ve heard on the news about an issue. Life is way too intricate though. These immigrants have stories and lives. They have passions and skills. They are every bit as deserving as others who hold a paper indicating citizenship.

Just like I was born into citizenship in America, many of these people were born or raised at an early age into illegal status. The progressive reform in america has been in the direction of relieving blame from inherited traits. The civil rights movement was the most evident movement. skin color was an inherited trait that people judged against. For those to which the DREAM Act would apply (those brought to america before the age of 15) I would argue that these circumstances were “inherited” or uncontrollable by the children. Their illegal status should not be a wall blocking off any future for them especially when they are such hard working individuals with college degrees more prestigious than the majority of America.

Please support the DREAM Act. It has been re-introduced in the Senate (where it was voted down back in 2007 by a margin of 7 votes).

According to http://dreamact.info/senators there are 58 senators listed as “yea” or “likely yea” for the vote, and 12 listed as “unknown” or “on the fence”. The Act needs 60 votes to pass in the Senate. From there, it should meet little opposition in the House. And of course, Obama will not veto it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GwNVo7siFA .

Please please look at the list above and contact your respective senators to support the dream act. The simplest thing you can do is to go to your senator’s webpage. All of them have a contact link where you fill out a form with your concern. This concern is in the topic of Immigration or Education. It takes literally like 5 minutes to fill one of these out.

You can also go to www.change.org and register and select the DREAM Act as an important issue. This is Obama’s website to survey the top 10 issues he should address. There are also many petitions on that site and other sites that you can easily fill out. We finally have the chance to make a difference. The vote is so close, it would be such a shame if this weren’t passed. Our fellow classmate at Duke, along with thousands of other deserving students would not get the chance to live fully.

ch 4 thoughts and HAPPY EASTER

I think it's really really cool to think about how Jesus' life affected people around the world even if not religiously. The writings of Josephus sound pretty cool.. to get a non-biblical perspective of Jesus. the fact that there are second hand accounts of the blackening of the sky at the crucifixion is really cool. I think an amazing thing about Jesus' life is that he was involved with all sorts of people from the outcasts to the religious leaders to the roman authority. His life was just asking to be written in history (and of course, scripture).

It's also interesting to me to think about the lives of those that Jesus touched. Like what happened to the centurion, the blind people, the lepers, the formerly demon possessed. They must've gone on with their lives completely changed. It'd be interesting if they found like writing from them, but then again writing was probably not a tool the disadvantaged had.

The more i think about Easter, the more perfect the story seems. A story of faith and love.

spring is here!

Whew, I am finally back to the virtual world of the Internet that connects so many people to one another. I've been gone from this blog for a while due to a program excursion to Weimar, a spring break trip to Vienna, Lucerne, and Venice, and then a week (this past one) with my mother here in Berlin. Lots of leg exercise and not much for the fingers. I'm going to try to add some pictures right now and hopefully it'll work...
One of the pictures is the castle where Luther translated the Bible (visited during our program excursion). Another one is of me imitating a sculpture in front of the Parliament house in Vienna. And the third is of me and my mom about to eat pig's knuckles, a very german food. :)


I've finally caught up with the chapters from the book "Is the Bible Intolerant?" that we've (Jason, Christina, and I) been going through. I got a little too eager and read chapter 5 as well, but I won't say anything about it just yet and let the other two read it first. Chapter 4 "Is the Content of the Manuscripts Reliable?" addressed exactly the question I was thinking of as I read Orr-Ewing's argument about the reliability of the text. I think I actually understood her logic argument this time, as it relates to the possibility of miracles, how we can't just blindly say, "there is no way that miracles can happen and only things testable are true and real" because you can't test a statement like that either. But that's not the main point of this chapter. I knew before that general things in the Bible were probably provable through some historical texts, but seeing the specific references laid out really helped impress that on my mind. I think the text that shows belief in Jesus as the Christ early on was important in showing that people who weren't far removed in time from events in the Bible really were convinced based on what they've seen and heard about the truth of Jesus. I guess the last part of the chapter was more of a reminder about the previous chapter's content about how the text could not have been corrupted due to the unimaginable measures taken to ensure the accuracy of the text so that future generations could find truth from it themselves.
I'm really enjoying these readings. =)

I'll be starting classes at the german university next week. I welcome prayers for this.

hi everyone!

Helloooo! :)

Ben invited me to this blog a while ago, but unfortunately I wasn't able to join until now because I didn't have internet at the mission center for several weeks. Right now, I'm actually at home. I'm going back to Honduras in less than 2 days.

For those of you who don't know me.. hi! I'm a freshman but I'm not returning to Duke until the fall. I'm in Honduras serving on missions until I get back. I've been there since late January. My old home church built a Christian school and mission center in a village called El Castaño. So I'm living in the mission center with a pastor we call Pastor Jennifer or PJ, another college student, and two roommates. I've been teaching English for grades 2 and 6 through 10. It's quite an experience. haha It took me a while to get used to everything and for the kids to get used to me, but I love it and it's so much fun!

Every year, our church sponsors a trip for 10-12 of the best students from the school. It's called the Vision Trip, and the kids come to the States and tour different churches, sharing their story and school, then performing songs, dances, skits etc. This year, Pastor Jennifer asked me and my roommates to go with her to help out, so I've been helping the kids practice after school to prepare for it. I guess you can say I'm their "music teacher" since I'm teaching them songs in English and Korean, and playing piano accompaniment for them. It's great :) They have so much work to do, though, in not much time. We're leaving on May 29 from Honduras to Miami, FL. Then we're basically taking a huge road trip with two big vans upward through the eastern states like Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, North Carolina (not sure if we're passing through the Raleigh/Durham area, but if we are, I want to stop by Duke and show the kids around!), Maryland, D.C. etc. then finally get to New York, where our church is located. Then we'll come back down taking a different route and stopping at more churches, and we're probably going to fly to Colorado because someone specifically invited us to his church. I think the trip will take about a month or even a bit longer; last year it took the whole month of June. I'm so excited!! No doubt it'll be tiring- it already is tiring practicing with the kids! But I know it's going to be an amazing experience.

It's only been about 10 days since I've been home, but I really miss my kids already! hahaha I told my dad that and he said I sound like a mom referring to "my kids". But really, they're so precious to me. I never pictured myself teaching, but somehow God gave me this awesome opportunity. You really do learn a lot by teaching, especially when you have a language barrier. I think my Spanish is slightly improving, but I can't really tell. haha I took it throughout high school and then I took Spanish 63 at Duke, but it was never my forte. It's funny because my students thought I spoke and understood nothing and now they know I do, so they make fun of me. I try not to speak Spanish too much with them because I'm teaching them English and they need to learn by engaging in conversation more. But most of the other teachers, who are Honduran, do not speak English or speak very little, so I guess I get to practice my Spanish with them. One of my roommates, also a teacher, is actually Honduran, so I always bug her with questions. She even started Spanish class for all of us at the mission center, but after a few classes it kind of died because we've been so busy.

Random thought: Before I knew I was going to Honduras, I had always wanted to participate in DukeEngage some time, but now I feel like I'm kind of experiencing something similar or even better in a way, and I did not anticipate any of this coming. God really does provide, and I'm so glad He made a way.

Well, I'll leave it at that for now. Sorry for the somewhat cluttered entry. I kind of just wrote what came to mind. I'm hoping I'll have internet when I return to Honduras so that I'll be able to post more! I miss Duke and IV so so much!!! Praying for everyone.

much love and peace,
michelle, aka kwakky/kwakward. :)

Chapter 3 thoughts

Wow, it's sunday already.
Chapter 3 (is the bible reliable) was pretty solid :) It's really cool to learn about how ancient manuscripts work and how rare they are. At the same time, just how many consistent copies of scripture are found. There's only a couple of copies of Plato and other old stuff found, but there's thousands of Jesus stuff and so many of them can be dated within 50 years of the events they describe whereas copies of the philosophers and stuff are found 100s of years after their life time.

I guess more of the conversation should come not from whether the bible is reliable, but more on the truth of the bible. But personally i feel like if an event can spark the largest distribution of literature that continues even today (bible is constantly the best seller) that there must be something to it.

A lot of times I worry about whether the bible was changed. In high school, it was the first time this was brought to my attention when my friend told me about how there were books written that were excluded from the bible canon. This scared me so much. It made me wonder though, would God let His word be distorted? As much interpretation as there is even today, what drove the church leaders of passed to exclude or include certain books from the bible? It could be the difference between Mormon and Protestant or Catholic and Baptist. Could you make the same argument for Christianity and Judaism? That's why I feel that bible reading alone is not the be-all, end-all in spiritual discipline. We should understand scripture, where it comes from, how it got there, but we still must recognize God working in our lives today. That's the difference between Homer's Iliad and Matthew's gospel. Deep down I believe that God won't let His word be completely distorted again after Jesus, because Jesus was sent to fulfill the law (the same law that already got distorted).

Happy WIVES day! sorry i didnt go

We had worship large group this week, which was reall cool. here's a music vdeo that some folks made, which i thought was pretty cool


had the auction too, which i hear went well

take care guys!!

Last Week

so much stuff happened last week :)
i got to see a harbor seal and dolphin necropsy in the NOAA lab next door.

This dolphin is missing a tail because it got caught in a fishing net. The fishermen.. unwilling to cut their net to let it loose.. instead cut off its tail to throw it back. I was the only undergrad at the necropsy, and the people let me cut off the dolphin's head, and take out one eye to do aging tests. I'm not gonna lie.. I was pretty excited to do that. It was weird though because it didn't register to me that it was a dolphin when I was cutting. It just seemed like a thing of meat which is sad because i <3 dolphins. I think the first time i saw a necropsy (of a sea turtle) there was so much blood, and organs were everywhere that it was pretty disgusting. this time, though, i think i was more used to it and desensitized and could really appreciate how everything in the body worked together and stuff. It was really interesting. It was also really cool how CSI-ish everything was, and what details they paid attention to. For example, they found about 40 menhaden (a small fish) in the seal's stomach and concluded that the fishermen probably discarded these as bycatch (cause they're too small) and the seal was probably just around to get the free meal because it'd be unlikely a seal could chase that many fish down in one meal.

In trying to decided on classes for next year, i met with a professor here to talk about possible marine science careers. he basically told me about 2 paths. one is a 2 year MEM program (marine environmental management) where you become a manager or something for fisheries and stuff like that. the other is a research track where you basically specialize in one area of marine science with a particular animal or group of animals. for that you need a masters/PhD so i still don't know what i'm gonna do with my life. It really hit me though about how I'm actually gonna have a career... I think i've been living in denial this whole time. I always assumed that if i had a family i'd be happy and never bothered to think that i'd be settling down with a career too. it scared me especially cause at this rate, i'll most definitely have a job before a family.. i need to get the order of events of my life together.

in other news, i decided to join the outreach team for IV next year and be a GiG leader for people i don't necessarily know. In my application i wrote that as a concern because i feel like i share the gospel best when i have already-established friendships with the people. When louisa called me to ask if i would be willing to do the GiG stuff, i told her i needed more time to think. I opened up the bible and chose a random book as if to ask God for a sign. Well, i started reading the first chapter of Romans. And you could say i got my "answer" at verses 14-17: "¹⁴I am obligated both to Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish. ¹⁵That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are at Rome. ¹⁶I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. ¹⁷For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."

Basically it came to my attention that I need to be preaching the Gospel to everyone, not just my friends. It put me to shame how eager paul was to preach the Gospel, and how scared I was. Ok so then I fell asleep.. but when I woke up I called back to say yes. Now i'm heavily anticipating how next year will go. That also solved my unsure-ness of which track to do in rockbridge (good news track).

I've been enjoying a 4-day weekend so far though so that's be AWESOME. i went fishing again (still didn't catch anything) i think the adult fish are still in warmer waters. The water is now bearable to stand in though. I can't wait until they're swimming temperatures. On monday they're letting us start to use the kayaks, so that's super exciting. And even more exciting, i'll be headed to trinidad on the 19th to work with leatherback sea turtles and other turtles. I'll be leaving from RDU which means i'll prob be around chapel hill/duke that weekend seeing that I wont have class on friday for that block either. This block (and all of its reading) end next wednesday, i'm super excited!

Chapter 2 "Can we know anything about history"

This chapter talks about uncertainty in history, how history is affected by the biases of authors, propaganda, and sometimes written with purposes in mind. It's pretty much impossible to get an objective historical account of something. The example she gave was that there is even a small portion of people today who believe that the holocaust didn't happen.. sketpicism formed even a couple of decades after the fact (very recent historically speaking).

This reminds me of a killer whale documentary i saw :D. it was set in Eden (i think in australia) where "legend" has is that the humans there used to hunt along side of killer whales, cooperating to bring down large whales. The killer whales would eat the tongue, and the people would take the rest of the whale. The story goes that the killer whales would swim to town to signal fishers to follow it while other killer whales surrounded and led a whale towards a bay to be trapped. However, one day a killer whale got beached, and a person decided to kill it for meat, and ever since, the killer whales never went back. There are still about 4 people on earth who recount these days with their personal experiences. That's where the controversy of history came in.. There were consistent first hand accounts, but enough time had passed that people questioned its validity.

I agree with the author that it's really hard to learn which historical accounts to trust. But I think that's where faith plays an important role. One thing that struck me was how the author talked about a time she talked with a non-christian about why she was christian. She basically mentioned 2 things: that christianity was "intellectually robust", and "existentially satisfying". meaning that there was enough historical basis to be captivated, and enough personal experience to solidify the faith. I find the same is true in many testimonies. We learn the Word of God, and we experience Jesus' love in our lives. For me, the switch flipped when my little brother was born when I was 9. "unconditional love" that the bible taught made sense. Scripture made sense cause God is love. But at the same time, the fact that sermons or passages or conversations "challenge me" really points to a truth to me. "Intellectually robust" It's good to question history, and especially important to think about the bible in its place in history. How/when was the bible written/formed? What was going on when Jesus was on earth? But just as important, what's going on today in your own life that makes sense in this spiritual context?

I find that we believe in the objectiveness in history if it seems realistic to us modernly. If we still hunted with killer whales, we'd believe what happened in australia. If we believe in Jesus today, of course the bible makes sense. If not, you could listen to however many personal accounts you want, but the history won't speak unless you seek.

Edith and Michelle

Just to let you know, I've invited both to be authors, so hopefully they'll be posting. Edith's already keeping a blog you may want to check out at http://gloradin.blogspot.com

see y'all :)

first chapter

This chapter really reminds me of the very first class i walked into at duke: intro to philosophy (freshman seminar) in the sense that it tries to use logic to argue everything. The rules of the game are to making sound/cogent arguments, and the arguments are always directed against skeptics.

I guess the author took a really general skeptic view of language and truth to pick a fight with. From what I gathered, the argument connecting language and God is that the fact that we can derive meaning from language suggests that there is something universal to be described, and that language actually carries meaning about the world. And then a step further, accepting that there is such thing as meaning in the world means there are certain truths, but these truths have to be defined (and most people think we're not capable of defining these truths), and that's where God comes in. But skeptics argue that there is no meaning, no absolute truth in the universe. Language has no higher meaning, no authoritative power. *skip a few steps* therefore, there is no God and the Bible is just a book with no meaning or truth.

The author's argument against this was pretty much just exposing a paradox (which i found really unsatisfying). She basically said, 'well if words have no meaning, then the skeptics' words have no meaning either and they contradict themselves' you cant say there's no absolute truth because believing that there is no absolute truth is in itself, a truth you believe in. *sigh* i really dont like logical arguments cause they're so pointless to me, it's just playing a game. agreeing with others and their methodology just to say "i beat you at your own game.. but dont worry i don't play that game anyway.. i rely on faith.. which is illogical in itself." ???

it reminds me of the "why is there suffering" lecture last year after proxe stations that left a lot of people (along with myself) unsatisfied.. it attempted to produce a cogent argument for an all-powerful, loving God to allow suffering in the world. It's like trying to use math to solve a reading comprehension problem. I believe that you can't use philosophy and logic to explain God.

as for the scenario on pg 24, i agree with you sabrina, language has changed a lot over time, especially with the bible. there are so many different translations, oral traditions, and even canons. not to mention the cultural barriers. i think the author was just trying to make another argument against skeptics who believe in essense that we think therefore we are. That we interpret whatever we read in our own context (culture, social, time, etc influences). any meaning we give to something we read is just a reflection of our background. but the author is saying that it would be impossible for us to learn something new if we came about learning everything based on what already defines us. But i would say that even in our removed cultural contexts we can still learn something new. I think the author got too wrapped up in making arguments against skeptics, that there is little conclusive, "how should we read the bible" application

i think it was good though how the author at the end says we should examine parts of the bible like who the authors actually were, why the wrote it, etc. i think that understanding historical background is extremely important. even though the author gives a tough example of how 2 people read the same thing once, they both reached completely different conclusions, cautiously.. i'm ok with that. i took a new testament class (historical basis) last year. it seemed like the non-christians in the class would take what they learned and strengthen arguments against God, while the Christians took what they learned and it reaffirmed their faith. I think that more important than where/who you grew up with, your background, your friends, family, etc your heart is still on its own. You can decide to give it to God or keep it for yourself. If your heart is set on something whether it be that God isn't real or that He is, anything you read or experience will probably be fit into that thought until you make a decision to accept God or not. Even if there is an absolute truth, if you're so bent on believing otherwise, you'll never find it. So to answer the question that is the title of the chapter, "Isn't it all a matter of interpretation?", yes, it's a matter of interpretation until you become open to thinking otherwise. When you let God in, when you seek with enough curiosity to look deeper into the bible, the meaning hidden between the lines, experience an answered prayer, then you find that you're not just interpreting a religious manuscript, you're interpretting God's will. Yes i understand this is very circular thinking, logically speaking, but i'm not gonna try to make a cogent argument for what i believe. I believe what I believe because I believe I've seen how God has worked in my life :)

P.S it's absolutely gorgeous outside!!!! dolphins! sand! waves! wind! warm! salty-air! VAST ocean! tell me there's no meaning in life... :D